Saturday, December 11, 2010

Dawson's Creek -- Where are they now ... IN HORROR

I got the idea for this post after watching Shutter (2008) starring Joshua Jackson. I then spent a significant amount of time contemplating all of their careers as I do once a week when I update my DC scrapbook. Dawson, Pacey, Joey and Jen have all played the horror game to varying degrees of success. Let's see who comes out on top.

Lowest on the totem pole is......................
 
 Dawson himself. I hate to do this James, I really do. But I couldn't even find your damn movie The Plague (2006) but I did find this description which I will base everything on because I am a competent journalist
Ten years have passed since the world's children have fallen into a coma. Tonight they're waking up and all hell is breaking loose. An un-holy battle between the generations is being waged against all adults, and time is not on their side.(IMDB.com) ... so there's that. Oh, and this:

I'm kind of in love with the tagline "...and the children will lead them." and how dirty they all look. The second lead is Ivana Meilicevic which reeks of credibility. The whole thing seems like a movie Dawson would have made that would have taken up the majority of a season because he was so into this high-concept movie that he wanted to make and Joey had to tell him that she didn't think it was very good and he'd be all like, "You're just jealous!" Then she'd be all like, "no Dawson, this movie says nothing about you. You have to tell your story." Actually I think that was a story arc....

Slightly above El Van Der Beek is.......


No, not the slutty teacher. Pacey! The thinking girl's crush! Except for when he was banging the teacher.

Pacey is higher than Dawson because Shutter (2008) is on Netflix Canada! And as terrible and boring as it is there are a few  laugh out loud moments. Which is why I'm going to write about it using pictures.

 Ben and Jane No Last Name are a newly married couple. Ben has a photo shoot in Japan, meaning he's a photographer. With that clumsy exposition out of the way, they travel a few days early to get in a honeymoon. Can you smell the J-Horror yet? 


Jane shows how she got Ben to marry her for the next few scenes.


While driving into Tokyo or somewhere Jane hits this broad with their fancy rental car. But when they look for the body - THERE ISN'T ONE. 



Jane starts seeing crrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzy stuff in photos and is convinced some eeeeeeeeeeeevil is going on....


But Josh, I mean Ben, is too busy because he's a successful photographer. Also, he's a PHOTOGRAPHER.



But then crrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaazzzy stuff starts to happen to him to.So he believes Jane and they kind of do something about which consists of this Jane chick yelling "Stay away from us!!" And then everything's fine...




OR IS IT?

Shutter is yet another boring remake of some other equally boring movie. The main problem lies in Josh and whoever is playing his wife. Their acting range is akin to a goldfish's. 

Who's better than les boys.....................




Back in tha day, ol' Joey Potter was practically the queen of the WB Horrors as I like to call them. Between Disturbing Behaviour, Teaching Mrs. Tingle and Abandon Katie had a lot going for her. Then there was this:



So close yet so far...

Which means the winner of Dawson's Creek Horror is....................................



I'll admit... I always thought Jen was the dumpy one but she wins this fair and square. While still on Dawson's Creek she starred in 1998's Halloween: H20 and classed and crazed it up in 2010's Shutter Island. Well played Williams, well played. 










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