Thursday, December 16, 2010

Terrible Performances in Horror History - Paul Rudd in Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers.

Remember that kid who was used as a plot device in the seminal first Halloween? Well, now he's done growed up.

From this:

 To this:

Ok... maybe not that... more like this:

See? Don't you love Hollywood? They can take any cute child and turn them into a handsome, albeit short, actor.

As opposed to reality which is this:

Aren't you happier in a fictional world where people age better than they should? I know I am.

In any event, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is the last Halloween film before Jamie Lee started showing up in them again and the last one that featured Donald "Dr. Loomis" Pleasance before he passed. It revolves around a cult that is trying to control Michael Myers and is trying to get a hold of his great-nephew. Yes, Laurie had a daughter who Michael was after for a few movies and now she's knocked up and gives birth in the first five minutes of this one.

You'd think this would all matter. But it really doesn't. But look! Tommy's back from the first movie.... Yay....
And he's all deep and moody. You can tell because he constantly has candles around his well-lit computer area. He talks like he's impersonating Norman Bates to the point where it's almost distracting. Sexily distracting.

I'll level with you. I couldn't get over the fact that it was Paul Rudd in this movie. Shortly after this he learned to act sexy in Clueless. Luckily for us Tommy doesn't do much of anything. We know he's  all messed up from Jamie Lee's babysitting abilities because a character says early on: "On a weirdness scale of 1 to 10 he rates about a 13." Geddit? He's weeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrd now.

Then he has to go to a fair and he's the only one not having fun. He's such a loner/badass. Then he comes up with gems like:  "The power of the ruins stopped him."
Then a body drops from the trees right in from of him. And that's the face he makes. Then he holds that face. I thought something was wrong with my computer because of how long he stands around. But no. You can see extras running around while Tommy just... stands... emoting or something.

Then some other stuff happens that doesn't really matter. What does matter is that for some reason he dons one of the cult robes and runs around in it. Observe:

 I would tell you to watch the whole movie to get the full effect. Hell you can find the whole thing on YouTube but you will lead a much fuller life where you believe Paul Rudd's career began with Clueless and maybe a few "blue" movies to spice things up.

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