Back in the oddly specific time and location of Cold-War Romania some British guys decide to loot a cave. But the cave is cursed! They don't care and carry on anyway, until the CGI gets them at least...
It's like they almost didn't want it to look real. From this point on I regarded The Cave as an art house movie.
Cut to present day 2005 and some Andy Warhol-esque models are required to go into the cave.
Oh, wait. The other ethnicity showed up too! Now they get to say some super-sick (in the good way) dialogue:
"I've been analyzing these read-outs."
"Respect the cave."
"The cave draperies are siiiiiiick dude. Totally rockin'!"
The also swap the word "fuck" for "freakin'" which I appreciate as any movie above a PG-13 rating is trying to corrupt the population.
Then they find these suckers who keep biting and clawing at them and decided to take time out to examine them to remind everyone that they're scientists.
Wow. The other girl got out and is a monster?!?! Dayum.
The Cave is one of those movies that makes you believe that anyone can succeed at film making. Literally. Anyone.