Thursday, February 10, 2011

Movies That Should Have Been Horror Movies

If you're like me, and most of you are probably only figments of my imagination, you've seen enough horror movies to know that it takes a simple twist of music, menace and low-lighting to turn a regular movie into a horror one.

5. 500 Days Of Summer

I get that this movie is supposed to be some kind of honest portrayal of our insecurities when we enter into a relationship, but really people. Who doesn't think Summer (Zooey Deschanel) is some kind of pod person. All this movie really needs is some kind of Michelle Rodriguez type to take her down with the business end of a shovel.

4. Donnie Brasco

Al Pacino already played the Devil in the Devil's Advocate and since he basically plays the same character in every movie it is clear that he always plays the Devil. Just like Robert DeNiro always plays that guy in Meet the Parents. It's a simple cut and paste job. This way Johnny Depp goes undercover but the mob's run by THE DEVIL HIMSELF and that explains Anne Heche's wackiness.

3. Groundhog Day

Just take out every scene with Andie McDowell including the happy ending and you've got Jacob's Ladder.

2. Hannah Montana The Movie

This one is easy. Cut a couple scenes and you've got a super-natural thriller starring a girl with split personalities. The perils of fame drive her forward and end in a horrifying conclusion with a priest blowing up a concert to destroy the evil. Only Billy Ray survives...

1. They Shoot Horses Don't They?

A couple tweaks and in this version, the horses shoot back!

1 comment:

  1. I submit for inclusion on this list:

    Kicking and Screaming (2005)
    City of Angels (1998)
    Midnight Cowboy (1969)