Friday, March 11, 2011

5 Horror Movies Worth Watching When You're Sick

So, I'm sick. Not enough that I can stay home for a few days but enough so I feel like crap and can only pitifully whine about it. Also, it's raining outside.

On days like today I'd rather be at home under a blanket, in front of the TV with a stack of DVDs to get through. I'm pretty particular about the movies I watch when I'm sick. I should have seen them before because I'll most likely pass out during it. A lot of this is down to taste, these are films I really like, are highly watchable and it doesn't matter if I only watch the first five then the last 10 minutes......

5. The Ring

Why? Why would I subject myself to one of my all time scariest movies? Because it's so damn watchable. Director Gore Verbinski keeps the action coming. Seriously, that shit gets trippy when you're doped out of your head on Cold & Flu stuff. Last time I watched it when I was sick I spent a great deal of time wondering why hotties like Naomi Watts and and Hot-Absent-Dad-Guy didn't have an equally hot child. It skips a generation I guess...

4. Carrie

This is like the best Lifetime movie there ever was. Though heavily steeped in 1970s culture, Carrie still plays out the nostalgia card while still being relevant. Trust me, teenage girls don't change that much - they just gain more technology to hate on you.

3. I Know Who Killed Me

LiLo!!!!! Oh God, this is an epic cluster-fuck of a movie. But with a delirious fever you'll be prone to fits of giggle and if you reach a true level of sickness while watching the film you may finally understand the secret meaning in it. Just like that chick in Martyrs.

2. Quarantine

Yes, I know REC is better. I'm not debating that. BUT if you need to shut your eyes for a bit or you don't really want to focus the subtitles will drive you crazy. And Quarantine is still decent, it may even prompt you to re-watch REC when you're better. I watched this when I was sick and spent the whole time wondering how you can play someone's sister on TV and then be married to them in real life. But they divorced. Guess that didn't work out. Stupid actors.

1. The Stepford Wives

The orginal. Though if you feel like punishing yourself by all means watch the Nicole Kidman one. That one always ends with me yelling at the TV screen "BETTE MIDLER BURNT HER HAND IN THE MOVIE. WHY IS IT NOT BANDAGED IN THE LAST SCENE???? FASKUGJI LEFU;HOWNKLGIUOFABKGKLJAHIUBBN"

But I digress.

The original is hella crazy. And, like The Ring, surprisingly watchable though much more dated than Carrie. The best part is how dark the whole movie gets. Worth watching anytime, but surprisingly comforting in the pay off at the end.

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