Sunday, March 13, 2011

Werewolves Get Angsty and Acquire Dodgy Accents

"Would you be at church at 2 in the morning if you had a boyfriend?" And that my friends is one of the lines said with utter conviction in the pre-Twilight movie Blood and Chocolate. The movie functions as the bastard child of Chocolat, Eatern Promises and An American Werewolf in London. Three things which should never ever be put together.

Basic plot is Vivienne is a werewolf in Romania. But she's American. She's 19 and is in with the secret society of werewolves which is super secret and they use their secret influence to run a chocolate store.  Did I mention that they're secret? Because they spend most of the movie talking in raised voices about how they're soooooo secret. And the head of the pack keeps talking about some prophecy that she might be a part of. Which is also a secret. Also, he wants to bone her.

Then she meets this nice and stalkerific guy named Aiden who also wants to bone her. But he says shit like, "I want to hear what you dream about." (seriously) And he's a graphic novelist/artist. So he's non-threatening and therefore the better choice.

The great thing about this movie is that Vivienne sulks around the whole time with the most epic sour-puss face which consists of a too large forehead that's really bugging me. Also, when they turn into werewolves there's a flash of light then they're a literal wolf. Boringest. Werewolf. EVAR. 

And because I'm halfway through and have to head out for a bit I thought I'd do an old fashion live blog. Whoot!

I mean, there are so many questions. Which guy will get it in first? Will there still be secrets? And will this character:
Yet another werewolf douche who wants to bang

fix his hair trauma?

Stay tuned.

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