Sunday, August 7, 2011

Destination Unknown: La Tercera Parte

And I'm back for Final Destination 3: Roller Coaster Of More Of The Same. I did actually start this one as a live blog but my witty remarks were repeating themselves so I thought I'd do a straight-up review so as not to tarnish the good name of the live blog.

With Death having wrapped up the remnants of the first film in the second we're on to some new premonition. And this time it's on a roller coaster. OF FEAR. Well, not really. Days before their graduation most of the class gets wiped out in a freak (wait for it) roller coaster accident.One girl freaks out enough that some of them leave while the others go along to their fiery fiery death. Those who manage to escape are pursued relentlessly by Death who likes to shoot nails through your face.

This is the first film to centre on a group of teens rather than expound to a larger demographic. The strange thing is that none of these characters really seem to notice that a bunch of their classmates just died. In fact, everyone seems pretty cavalier about the whole stitch. Only two characters are privy to the knowledge that their deaths are around the next corner, but being the goody-two-shoes they are they try to warn their classmates.

Cut to multiple scenes just like this.

MAIN CHARACTER 1: Seriously, Death is after us and you're going to die.
MAIN CHARACTER 2: We think we have a way to cheat it but we have to work together!
SUPPORTING CHARACTER receives a brutal trauma, as predicted in a set of photos that MAIN CHARACTER 1 took the night of the accident, killing them.
MAIN CHARACTER 1: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
MAIN CHARACTER 2: You know what would really piss Death off? If we had sex.  

Now, let's talk for a moment about these pictures. The Final Girl took some photos before that accident that in some way predict the death of her classmates. She and the Sensitive Jock spend the majority of the film pouring over them to figure out some clues to prevent their deaths. Apparently this theory goes all the way back to Abe Lincoln and (in poor taste) 9/11. I have a hard time believing that 9/11 had anything to do with Death needing to play catch up and it adds an uneven tone to the fun-death-loving set of film.

Leave the film with an unnecessary open ending and that's about the meat of Final Destination 3. I'm not quite sure what the purpose of the third one was other than a cash grab. I was talking with a friend today and we were comparing the Saw and Final Destination franchises. I feel that Saw (though deeply imperfect) has a legitimate claim to a continuing series of films because the game is controlled by human nature and therefore evolves. Final Destination, however, does not. We're all going to die. And with a slew of characters trying to cheat death it feels whiny. None of them do anything for the greater good. They're only really trying to save their own asses.

Well, we've got one more to go. Will it prove me wrong and silence me about my lack of faith in the series?  Does any of this mean anything? Is Tony Todd after me???????

Help me Obi-Wan. You're my only hope. 


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