Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Destination Unknown: Quadrilogy

I cannot tell a lie. I've been kind of agonizing over this post because... well.... I kind of dug Final Destination 4. Sorry The Final Destination. I know everyone out there seems to have pegged it as an enormous waste of time and indeed, I learned nothing about human strife, suffering or thought but I rolled my eyes the least amount of times than in any of the other Destinations. That's got to count for something, right? RIGHT?!?!?!

Now, it helps that it stars this guy:
who is cute as fuck. So there. I was able to spend a good portion of the film objectifying a man. And it was great.

Now, in all seriousness. The Final Destination deals a lot more in "plot" than advancing the mythology of the piece which in essence makes it a really great throw away though, I imagine, a bit of a pisser when you're actually invested in the damn series. Now I'm being smarmy and putting plot in quotation marks because this isn't exactly Citizen Kane. It's a pseudo teen slasher. Using a model we've seen 3 times before. A group of young'uns and some other people avoid death only to have it come after them. Then they get clever, think they've beat it but no, and it comes after them some more. I give FD4 credit for doing away with all the 9/11 junk. It didn't work and it's out of place in a popcorn CW-lite film.

My problem with the FD mythology is there really isn't one. It kind of rambles on about how death is after us. Well, death and taxes are two of our few certainties in life and if we're to believe in a plan larger than ourselves than maybe it's more important than us. The more these films focused on the mythology of Death's plan the more it became more about cheating God-like forces rather than simply trying to survive something.

The second you open the can of worms of Death's plan, you have to follow through with it. You can't just bring up 9/11 and not delve into the implications of that. Perhaps it was studio meddling or something that got cut out in editing but The Final Destination felt a lot more urgent when you do away with all the in-depth thinking that doesn't really go anywhere. For my money it was a short, sharp thriller about a group of attractive people trying to survive. Also there's a great sequence where a character gets his junk sucked into a pool drain.


  1. I think that's kinda what makes Final Destination leave such a creepy feeling; death comes for everyone.

    Also, I didn't think that Final Destination 4 was bad just not one of my favorites, I noticed that too that alotta people really just thought it was the worst!

  2. Yes! It's not a great film but it's decent and better than a lot of movies out there. I was just shocked there was so much venom towards it.