Saturday, November 12, 2011

Where Are They Now In Horror.... Felicity

I love me some Felicity. To be fair, I was only recently reminded of this fact through this New York Magazine article which makes me want to go back and watch the whooooooole series.



For those of you that didn't watch Felicity the basic premise is this: hottie Ben (Scott Speedman) writes in Felicity's high school yearbook something to the effect of "I wish I'd gotten to know you better." Felicity then takes this as an invite to drop her current university med school plans and follow him to New York. Crazy? Yes. Disturbing? Yes. But look at Ben:

In any event, Felicity then meets this other guy, Noel, who is a good guy yet significantly less attractive. There are also some other friends, some of whom invent rape stories to get attention and others who are witches. Oh, it was created by J.J. Abrams too, so there are some time traveling episodes. It's actually a fun, sweet show about a young woman trying to find herself. Also this guy's in it:

ANYWAY.... My team and I have been working around the clock to determine who in the Felicity cast has horror supremacy. The more we got into their IMDB pages the more we realized there are some serious contenders in this bunch.

Starting the lowest of the low....

Yup, Felicity herself. She gets this dishonorable distinction because she hasn't done any horror! Every actor has done at least one goofy horror-esque part (as we shall see) and this is entirely unacceptable. Sure, you're not too good to cut off all your hair but nooooooooooooooooo you'd better do Mission Impossible 3 rather than play the female lead in some J-Horror remake. For shame, Felicity, for shame.



I'm now going to lump Sean (Greg Grunberg) and Meghan (Amanda Rotundi) together because they didn't do a heck of a lot before Felicity then managed to get dumped into the JJ Abrams universe of goofiness and played reoccuring characters on Alias/Lost/Heroes and then pop up as "News Reporter" in Super 8 which for many reasons I refuse to see. So there, Sean and Meghan. You're not important enough to be the worst so you get lumped in the crappy, crappy middle. BAM!

No joke, I could not find one image of this girl smiling...
Doing a bit better is Elena (Tangi Miller). She hasn't had a big career BUT she was in Leprechaun Back 2 Tha Hood. I'm glad they had the opportunity to wrap up the loose ends from the first one...



Coming close to some form of legitimacy is .... Noel Crane (Scott Foley)! **Beware some spoilers in this one** He gets this for a few reasons (appearance in True Blood, a nice melange of low-budget horror) but in his role as Hollywood hack and (dun dun DUN) killer in Scream 3 he gets a lot of cred. By no means is this the "ultimate" Scream movie or even that scary but, boy, he really goes for it in this one. 1 part bat-shit crazy, 1 part convoluted Halloween plot, I have to admire his commitment because he's so very very close to the top...

But our numero uno, the best of the ok, life-time achievement in horror goes to.....
Ben-Scott!! True story, I breathed on him at an after party at TIFF this year. No biggie. But why is he #1, you ask? Because he wasone of the most important parts of the Underworld franchise and surprisingly good in The Strangers which is one of my favourite horror movies of the '00s. See, all my gratuitous picture usage of him in this post was totally justified. 

2 comments:

  1. Wait, isn't Keri Russell in Grimm Love? I haven't seen it, but I've read excerpts from a book on the case it's based on. Apparently, an aspiring cannibal in Germany used the internet to hook up with a guy who wanted to be eaten. I don't know how Keri Russell fits into this scenario, it's bound to be lots of laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're totally right! BUT that credit is NOT on her IMDB page therefore furthering my theory about her dislike of horror...
    If it's not really a credit for her, does it count?

    ReplyDelete