Sunday, December 22, 2013

Horror Movie Coolie (Christmas Edition and Brief 2013 Wrap-Up): Lynn Peltzer aka Mom (Francis Lee McCain) in Gremlins (1984)

Mom's do a lot for their respective families especially around the Holidays. There's a lot of hard work that goes into parenting that you only realize the older you get (or have a child yourself). I put on Gremlins (1984) which had been handed down to me by my dear friend Paul "Canuxploitation" Corupe which I hadn't watched since I was a child. I remember being terrified of this movie. The Gremlins creeped me out beyond belief and no amount of "but it's a horror-comedy" could convince me otherwise.


Sidenote: I had some kind of weird flashback while watching this movie. I remember going to, I believe, Universal Studios when I was a child and going in to see some kind of "educational" show which gets overtaken by Gremlins and it, again, scaring the shit out of me. Does anyone know what that show was called? I'd love to be able to tell my therapist.

ANYWAY, in last night's viewing I was struck by how violent Gremlins is which now I appreciated and helps me justify my earlier terror of this film. I also LOVED the Mom (aka Mrs. Peltzer) in this movie. She was really lovely and warm but when the Gremlins show up she does as much damage as Ellen Ripley did on her best day. Observe:


See? Pretty badass and crazy, right? I appreciate when characters adapt to the situation they are presented with rather then run around questioning why or disbelieving.  Mrs. Peltzer is a Horror Movie Coolie in my books because she not only supported her family emotionally, but also with a kitchen knife... and a microwave....

Quick wrap up for 2013, the biggest thing this year was the launch of The Faculty of Horror with my co-host Andrea "Hellbat" Subissati. It's something I've loved doing and have been completely overwhelmed by the response.

I also started my column for Diabolique magazine called The Devil Made Us Watch It. It was a complete surprised to be asked to do it but I'm very excited for the opportunity. If you've read it, drop me a line and let me know what you think. 


My favourite genre films of this year we're The World's End and You're Next, both funny and engaging featuring great performances.


My biggest disappointment of this year was the documentary Camp Crystal Lake Memories. Made by the same guys who did the AMAZING Never Sleep Again documentary and utilizing the same format, CCLM was a clunker in every sense of the word. It's extraordinarily boring with none of the cultural or business insight that made NSA so interesting and watchable. It becomes clear that the Friday the 13th series (which I am a fan of) truly was a cash grab that had little heart or soul behind it from a creators standpoint. But if you want a six hour plus documentary about actors whining about how hard it was to film, then have I got the movie for you. 


Monday, December 2, 2013

A Horror Christmas Song: The Re-Purpose-ing

Do you love Christmas and the Holidays? I do! Part of the fun for me is to insert random horror into any on going festivities. (last year I made Christmas ornaments commemorating all my favourite Final Girls) This year I thought I'd share one of my favourite Christmas songs with you, one that I've used my skills on to make it more appropriate for those who love horror. Enjoy!


Black Christmas (sung to the tune of Wham!'s Last Christmas)

(Happy Christmas)

Black Christmas I gave you my heart,
The very next day, I'll call you again
This year to give you more fear
I'll move into your dorm room

Black Christmas I gave you my heart,
The very next day, I'll call you again
(I'll call you again)
This year to give you more fear
I'll move into your dorm room
(Dorm room)

One's asthmatic, I'll stab her twice
I'll keep my distance but I'm still in your attic
Tell me baby how did you not know
Billy's here and I'll take off your head.

(Happy Christmas)

I wrapped up that girl
In a dry cleaning bag
Now I know what a fool you've been
Those dry cleaners have been over-charging you

Oh, oh my baby

Crowded rooms, more for the killing
I'm hiding from you, but I know all about you
My God, I thought you'd know
But even John Saxon can't track me

I killed your House Mother
I killed your friends
But you still think 
It's the guy from 2001.

Black Christmas I gave you my heart,
The very next day, I'll call you again
(I'll call you again)
This year to give you more fear
I'll move into your dorm room
(Dorm room)

A police with a gun
(I'll call you again)
And fellatio on his mind.
Maybe next year, I'll kill him too
(Kill him too)

I thought you knew I'm here to stay
I'll live in your attic
I'll watch you too
Oh baby, baby, what can you do?

Gave you my heart
I'll call you again
I'll call you again

Black Christmas I gave you my heart
I'll call you again
I'll move into your dorm room
(Dorm room)